So what did you do today? You filed some paperwork, looked up some skirts, and ended up laying on the couch watching telly while wondering why you've got nipples. Don't worry! We all do that, because this is the result of boredom. We can't escape it, and we always manage to get bored no matter how much money or friends we have.Of course, if you are well endowed you'll never be bored because there will be something you fancy doing, and are brilliant at, hence you wouldn't be reading this at the moment. I however, am not gifted by God with anything in particular albeit I cherish writing, and that leads to a terrible conclusion: I am as bored as a cat! It wasn't until yesterday, when I realised that the only body parts which I resort to using, is my bum to sit on, and my fingers to type with.
Because of that, I decided to break away from the usual routine, and went shopping - an activity which I described as the next worst thing after being ran over by cows. I however had to swallow my prejudice, and went out in search of some new shoes. When it comes to footwear, there is always something for everyone. There are shoes for simpletons, mountain climbers (Maybe dune climbers in Kuwait), Zeriouz Buzzinezzmen doing ZeriouZ Buzzinezzzzzz, and so on. The market is literary littered with shoes by companies with ridiculous mission statements such as: ''To get enough dorks to buy our utterly useless product, so that we can afford to dress as cool as we know we are!''.
What attracted me though, was a slogan in ''Hush Puppies'' stating: ''So light, that they are practically weightless!''. Now that is jolly fine, but I suspect the above statement had something to do with the fact that the shoes in question were for babies...and baby accessories tend to be fairly small and light in the first place. So I hushed the puppies, and went into ''Steps''. Well I am sorry, but that was even worse. All their shoes were a feast of man made materials, and were made for people who enjoy wearing coats from animals I didn't know existed. The salesman looked and smelled as if the last bath he took was in a ton of manure... a couple of years ago, and the whole thing was quite frankly, revolting.
Why weren't there shoes for the normal human being, is something I still can't fathom. I dislike shoes in afterbirth colours, I don't want shoes made from all of Africa's alligators, and I certainly do not want shoes carrying the American flag, because that would be like going to a French restaurant and ordering a burger. It is just risible.
What I ended up buying, is a lovely pair of boots which are suspiciously resemblant to a pair of quintessentially British wellingtons. What the wellingtons are not equipped with though, is a layer of gel to absorb shocks... Isn't that amazing? Now I have something to wonder about, meaning that I won't be bored for a while.
Because of that, I decided to break away from the usual routine, and went shopping - an activity which I described as the next worst thing after being ran over by cows. I however had to swallow my prejudice, and went out in search of some new shoes. When it comes to footwear, there is always something for everyone. There are shoes for simpletons, mountain climbers (Maybe dune climbers in Kuwait), Zeriouz Buzzinezzmen doing ZeriouZ Buzzinezzzzzz, and so on. The market is literary littered with shoes by companies with ridiculous mission statements such as: ''To get enough dorks to buy our utterly useless product, so that we can afford to dress as cool as we know we are!''.
What attracted me though, was a slogan in ''Hush Puppies'' stating: ''So light, that they are practically weightless!''. Now that is jolly fine, but I suspect the above statement had something to do with the fact that the shoes in question were for babies...and baby accessories tend to be fairly small and light in the first place. So I hushed the puppies, and went into ''Steps''. Well I am sorry, but that was even worse. All their shoes were a feast of man made materials, and were made for people who enjoy wearing coats from animals I didn't know existed. The salesman looked and smelled as if the last bath he took was in a ton of manure... a couple of years ago, and the whole thing was quite frankly, revolting.
Why weren't there shoes for the normal human being, is something I still can't fathom. I dislike shoes in afterbirth colours, I don't want shoes made from all of Africa's alligators, and I certainly do not want shoes carrying the American flag, because that would be like going to a French restaurant and ordering a burger. It is just risible.
What I ended up buying, is a lovely pair of boots which are suspiciously resemblant to a pair of quintessentially British wellingtons. What the wellingtons are not equipped with though, is a layer of gel to absorb shocks... Isn't that amazing? Now I have something to wonder about, meaning that I won't be bored for a while.
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