I love those late summer afternoons when I walk down the street singing happy songs underneath the warmth of our beautiful sun. I love waking up and being greeted by a happy ray of light gently warming my face. But it seems like all of these jolly memories are to quickly disappear like the fresh morning mist. You may ask why, and shall tell you.
You see, there are many people who use their genital brain more than their real one, and eventually end up doing things which every single human with an IQ higher than 60 will NOT even think about. But then there are six and half billion of us, and it is understandable that most are as dumb as cardboard boxes. So when I read that a Spanish woman called Angeles Duran has claimed possession of the sun, I rolled on the ground and did not stop laughing for some ten minutes. But that is just the tip of the iceberg! She also states that all ''users'' of the Sun have to pay her a 10% tax. I don't know in what kind of dream she came up with that idea, but if one could make money so easily, the world would be a very different place. So what I did instead, was go downstairs for a stroll and use a bit of sun for free. Damn, it felt good!
And as I was soldiering on bravely, clearly aware that I was stealing someone's property I came up with an idea. Since you can claim possession with a couple of papers and signs for no charge at all, I decided to become the owner of the universe and everything in it. How hard can it be? Stamp here, Stamp there, and I can charge aliens with a rent tax. I will become super rich and then my Spanish lady friend will be buggered. Hell, I can even claim possession of the non-existent matter! As I was blighted and enlightened by those, let's be honest, brilliant ideas, another one flooded my brain like like Venice in the winter. After I own the universe, I shall take that stupid Spanish woman to court, and will ask her for a hefty tax, because her sun resides in my universe for free. I cannot accept such ridiculousness from the sun! I will be livid, and will shoot sharp but well formed arguments at her! And I bet that I can come up with a downside better argument than hers which was: ''There is no barricade, I support my assertions are lawfully, I am not foolish.''
But then a new idea emerged. I for example have a huge birthmark on my neck, with which I should be really careful since I can get skin cancer due to sun over exposition. My skin also burns very easily and that always irritates me! What I can do in this situation then, is take that case to court, and argue that her sun has a negative impact on my organism, and that I want a significant amount of capital as reinsurance. Then the Eskimos can take her to court because they shall pay a full tax when they really use the sun for only six months. Then all consumers of electronic goods (all of us) can take her to court when our computers and TV's get rendered unusable due to a sun magnetic storm. Seriously, there are so many things about which that STUPID woman did not even think about, and even though I won't be the one who shall waste time and nerves in court, someone else will, without a twitch of the eye.
Of course you are not foolish Mrs. Duran! Just wait until someone proves you so. WOW, now I truly believe what Einstein once said: ''Two things are infinite; The universe and human stupidity; I am not sure about the universe.'' I now could not agree more! So please, if you want to be rich and famous, set about working hard! Do not try to become the owner of something just for the sake of it, because a piece of paper from your local notary proves you the owner of the sun, in the same way that my school diploma proves me a Nobel laureate.
You see, there are many people who use their genital brain more than their real one, and eventually end up doing things which every single human with an IQ higher than 60 will NOT even think about. But then there are six and half billion of us, and it is understandable that most are as dumb as cardboard boxes. So when I read that a Spanish woman called Angeles Duran has claimed possession of the sun, I rolled on the ground and did not stop laughing for some ten minutes. But that is just the tip of the iceberg! She also states that all ''users'' of the Sun have to pay her a 10% tax. I don't know in what kind of dream she came up with that idea, but if one could make money so easily, the world would be a very different place. So what I did instead, was go downstairs for a stroll and use a bit of sun for free. Damn, it felt good!
And as I was soldiering on bravely, clearly aware that I was stealing someone's property I came up with an idea. Since you can claim possession with a couple of papers and signs for no charge at all, I decided to become the owner of the universe and everything in it. How hard can it be? Stamp here, Stamp there, and I can charge aliens with a rent tax. I will become super rich and then my Spanish lady friend will be buggered. Hell, I can even claim possession of the non-existent matter! As I was blighted and enlightened by those, let's be honest, brilliant ideas, another one flooded my brain like like Venice in the winter. After I own the universe, I shall take that stupid Spanish woman to court, and will ask her for a hefty tax, because her sun resides in my universe for free. I cannot accept such ridiculousness from the sun! I will be livid, and will shoot sharp but well formed arguments at her! And I bet that I can come up with a downside better argument than hers which was: ''There is no barricade, I support my assertions are lawfully, I am not foolish.''
But then a new idea emerged. I for example have a huge birthmark on my neck, with which I should be really careful since I can get skin cancer due to sun over exposition. My skin also burns very easily and that always irritates me! What I can do in this situation then, is take that case to court, and argue that her sun has a negative impact on my organism, and that I want a significant amount of capital as reinsurance. Then the Eskimos can take her to court because they shall pay a full tax when they really use the sun for only six months. Then all consumers of electronic goods (all of us) can take her to court when our computers and TV's get rendered unusable due to a sun magnetic storm. Seriously, there are so many things about which that STUPID woman did not even think about, and even though I won't be the one who shall waste time and nerves in court, someone else will, without a twitch of the eye.
Of course you are not foolish Mrs. Duran! Just wait until someone proves you so. WOW, now I truly believe what Einstein once said: ''Two things are infinite; The universe and human stupidity; I am not sure about the universe.'' I now could not agree more! So please, if you want to be rich and famous, set about working hard! Do not try to become the owner of something just for the sake of it, because a piece of paper from your local notary proves you the owner of the sun, in the same way that my school diploma proves me a Nobel laureate.
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